We have the privilege of a wonderful testimony by Audrey Charles who writes at Wisdom From the Throne. Please read the whole testimony. It is amazing.
Snatched From Death – My Testimony
I sat on the edge of the bed with a handful of Valium in one hand and a razor blade nearby.
A glass of water to wash down the pills sat on the dresser waiting to do its duty. Night had fallen and my heart was as dark as the sky outside. There was nothing left to live for I thought.
Earlier that evening my estranged husband had brought our 2 year old son back home after spending the afternoon with him. Their parting usually was a happy one, but this time little D cried uncontrollably as he watched his dad’s car drive away. Nothing would console him.“Wanna go with Daddy and my other Mommy!”he cried. Those words hit like daggers.
D was the one ray of sunshine left in my life since the sudden separation had occurred several months before. Now he, too, wanted out. Something snapped in my mind. I heard myself assuring him that from tomorrow he would indeed be with his dad.
As I prepared him for bed D was giggling and happy once again. I rocked him to sleep and when his little body was completely relaxed I kissed him, and gently placed him in his crib. He was a child who slept through the night…and slept very soundly at that, so there was no way he would awaken before morning.
Methodically, mechanically and completely drained from months of trying to hold things together, I began to prepare…packed D’s bag with the things he would need for daycare…put his breakfast dishes on the table…laid his clothes out for the morning…took the lock off the front door so that there would be easy access to get in….poured the glass of water….went to my bedroom…closed the door…found the razor blade…uncapped the bottle of pills…sat on my bed.
Thoughts swirled in my mind – a jumble of memories. All efforts to make life “normal” had added up to one word – failure.
I heard my own voice saying, “God, if you want me to live You’re going to have to stop me.”
I waited a brief moment. Nothing. With that I poured out a handful of pills and raised my hand to my mouth. The razor blade lay nearby to be used right afterward. Then suddenly the stillness was shattered…
Read the rest of this amazing story at Audrey’s blog.