When My Heart is Wrong
By T. L. Wiens
The lack of love in the conversation hurt. I felt disrespected and the anger followed. It didn’t take long for my prayers to turn against this enemy.
And I could justify it. Didn’t some of the Psalms have this same tone? Psalm 59:1 says, “Deliver me from my enemies, Oh my God; defend me from those who rise up against me.”
I had an enemy that I needed protection from. Verse 5, says, “You therefore, O Lord God of hosts, the God of Israel. Awake and punish all the nations; Do not be merciful to any wicked transgressors.”
I was praying for what this enemy had coming.
Then I calmed down and realized I had no more love for my enemy than they for me. I was twisting scripture to my advantage. I prayed for forgiveness and changed my focus.
In Matthew, we are commanded to love our enemies. Beyond that, we are to “bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use and persecute you”( Matthew 5:44 NKJ).
I’m not going to say this is easy. It’s especially hard when the enemy is a fellow believer. But when I can start to pray in a loving way, I know my heart heals. I can leave the revenge to God’s complete discretion and walk in the knowledge that my Heavenly Father cares for His children.
Tammy lives in Saskatchewan with her husband. They have four children. She enjoys gardening, walks along the beach and being on the farm. She has a passion for her faith, studying the Bible and prayer.
She has published two books; Where a Little Rain Comes Down and Making the Bitter Sweet. A short story, “Vi’s First Christmas” will appear in Christmas Chaos coming out in October of 2010. Visit her website.